Tonight my Daddy went to be with His Heavenly Father. To say my heart is broken, seems to not touch on the pain I feel. However, I want to say this. God is good. My previous post talked about resolving NOW, before trials hit that God is good and His faithfulness and plan is perfect. Let me tell you how precious my Heavenly Father is...
For months the Lord has been whispering one sentence over and over in my heart and in my mind... God cares more about eternity than our present comfort. He has been showing me over and over that He is good and that His plan is perfect... even when it makes zero sense.
As I was laying on my bedroom floor, prostrate before the throne crying out for God's hand to move in my family, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "God knows the number of our days even before one of them came to be." He knew years and years ago that tonight my Daddy was going to see His Father face to face, yet God cared enough about me to speak to truth to my heart for the past three months in order to prepare for tonight. I joked with Joe, and even Dad this past week, that I have been waiting for the hammer to fall... why else would God speak to me over and over about trials coming our way. Yet, God in his great mercy, prepared me for tonight.
It is not easy. I loved my Daddy with all my heart. He was an incredible man of God and we had an extremely close relationship. I will miss talking with him everyday about the Lord, family, etc. But, as I was praying, about the same time that my mom said he went to be with the Lord, I had the sweetest image in my head. It was the look on my Dad's face when he saw Jesus for the first time. I think God gave me that image in my head to know that all is okay. I can hear him now, laughing and saying, "this is the best Christmas gift I have ever gotten!"
Anyway, pray for me. Please pray especially for my mother. Her pain is excruciating. I know that it will hit me fully when I go home and see the difference. I can't write any more... the pain is too raw. I just wanted to record how sweet my Lord is before I go home and my flesh might forget.
Thank you. As my little girl sang with me tonight... "Jesus love me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so."
Thursday, December 24, 2009
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